Writing Tips: Show, Don’t Tell

The human mind is a powerful tool, as long as you give it a little guidance. Many of you have heard the phrase “Show, don’ tell,” with regard to your writing. This is a critical concept for an effective writer to create feeling in the reader. You remember, that our principle task as writers is to write in such a way that we create a desired feeling in the reader. That being said, do you really know what this phrase means?

In High School I had a teacher that was very hard on me. He seemed to call on me every chance he got, and he didn’t take the typical High School answer you could normally get away with. He was demanding, but I eventually appreciated him for that. Once, when we were discussing poetry, he pointed out one of the ways that a reader could determine the value of a written work was to measure whether or not the reader had arrived at the meaning of the work on his own. (Did the author show, not tell)

He gave an example of a simple “roses are red, violets are blue…” type poem, and then contrasted it with a poem by Robert Frost called Departmental (it seems as though it’s about ants, but is it?)

Here is a link to the poem:

Departmental, by Robert Frost

The point was that when a reader feels as though he has figured out the meaning to something, its memorable. If you just tell the reader the meaning of something, its just water cooler gossip, and only has that meaning to the reader.

I could tell you that my hero has a courageous chin, or that my heroine has arrogant eyes but what does that really do for my reader? If I want my reader to know that my hero is courageous, I should have some scenes that show him doing acts of courage. If I want you to feel that my heroine is arrogant, then I should put her in a situation or two that shows her behaviour as being arrogant. See the difference?

Consider the classic example of someone being in a hurry. Here is an example of how you should, and shouldn’t deliver this feeling to the reader:

Example One (Telling):

Mary got impatient. She was in a hurry. She waited as long as she could, and then left.

Example Two (Showing):

Mary sat at a table for two in the coffee shop. She glanced over the top of her local newspaper every time the entrance to the shop chimed to indicate the arrival of a new visitor. Without realizing it she started tapping her foot.

Mary neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the table, adjusting it a couple of times so that it looked just right in front of the seat opposite her. She raised her wrist and examined her watch, shaking her head. She looked around the room. Unaware, Mary got a couple of annoyed looks from other patrons as she started tapping her fingers on the table, oblivious to the tension her fingers evidently expressed. She finally found a clock. She just wanted to make sure her watch read properly. The clock on the wall read fifteen minutes passed the hour. Her wrist watched read the same. She took a deep breath, raised her hand, and paid the bill when the waitress came. Too bad, she thought. It was a cute shop – the memorable kind. She got up and left.

Do you get a sense from the second example that Mary was in a hurry, or getting impatient about something? She was waiting for someone impatiently wasn’t she? Did you notice that I never said that in the paragraph? I showed you images that you tend to associate with being in a hurry. Looking up every time someone came into the shop, a tapping foot, looking at a watch, double checking that it was synchronized properly with the clock on the wall.

Using imagery (show, don’t tell) to paint a picture worth a thousand words is critical for you to learn as a writer. Think of all the commercials we used to see about sponsoring an Ethiopian in need. Sure, the commercial a few words, but much of the commercial focused on the tragic images of the people and their condition. The folks running this campaign understood the concept of show, don’t tell. If you can apply this as a writer, you will be much more successful than if you don’t.

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Happy writing!

Justin